Sequence: My Garden Overflow (Short Story)

Most avoid looking directly into the sun, but I embrace it. Laying on the plush grass making contact with the Beloved while the glare penetrate my every core and seeps into my minds eye. I am wide open to receive it’s code.

“Blessed sun take me where no one else can go, your warmth is unlike any other,” I said while my arms are out stretched, welcoming. “Possess me, Creator, I need to draw strength from your being.” I lay there, arms garnering the unseen forces that come to me, alone on this earth, hugged by only nature.

It came soft and caressed me, entering first from my arms, then the cavity of my chest which made me groan slightly. It was not painful, more so, it was as though I was being filled up, brought to life as though I was a tree, feeding. It flowed down and up within my limb stems and leaves. I lay sighing, short gasps, the oxygen escaping me. “This is love,” I responded.

This original short story, essay is written on the fly and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All photography was made/taken by Ms. Gumbs, all rights are reserved by her in February 2022 (C)

In Gray Area

Dethroned and abandoned

The loss of heart’s will to warm

To be the only one left to mourn

Without the body

Then left to carry on

As a huge and wounded heart in hands

carefully, carefully

while they display

laugh and play

To then pretend away your existence

Present day

*you aren’t the only one to feel so deeply, Wanderer.*

This original poem (poetry) is written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in July 2021 (C)

Leaking, Pouring Down the Whole – Poetry

I have become the drip drip of ink

Grim, shiny

Pleasing only to things grasping in the noir rub rub smear

Becoming a former model of itself

To encounter the deep devoid of any wish or desire

Just a new hastening to mere darkness

And if this snake was a ring it only naws at it’s own tail and ass

Going about it’s daily and eternal task

These original poem (poetry) are written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in May 2021 (C)

Journal: Am I a Narcissist?

How would you feel if someone constantly tells you that you are a narcissist? Do you believe it, research it to see if this describes you? Do you go to a therapist for a mental evaluation to see if you are one? I’m at a loss as to what I should do. Can someone tell me where to start or what I can do to get help?

Poem: Dark and Light

Time has a night and day

In between, I have given all that I can

Especially offered my heart

Which has been eaten as though it was an apple

Masticated, swallowed and digested

Never let that heart fall into the hands

Of someone hungry for theft

But without care for that which they hoard

Love being taken for granted

Left out in the cold

Is the coldest darkest night

This original blog post was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in January 2021 (C)

Blog: Soundtrack Of Our Lives

Music today does not have the same impression on me as the music from the 80s and 90s. It is hard to find inspiration in just booty shaking, clout chasing and corny puppy love songs. Music back in the day was more relatable, it felt real and even inspired you in many ways.

There are a few songs that I would like to add to a playlist for a soundtrack of my life. Songs that still make my heart sing, rave or dance. Songs that remind me of love making, lost love and finding a new love.

1. Doo Wop (that thing) – Lauryn Hill

2. Bitter Sweet Symphony- The Verve

3. Ex-Factor – Lauryn Hill

4. Waterfalls – TLC

5. Truly, Madly, Deepy -Savage Garden

6. This is How We Do It – Montell Jordan

7. Don’t walk away – Jade

8. Gonna Make You Sweat – C+C Music Factory

9. All Around The World – Lisa Stanfield

10. Baby Got Back – Sir Mix-a-lot

Baby Got Back is a favorite at Karaoke bars all over. So don’t give me the stick eye for that one. You’ve heard the song before, you cannot deny how catchy it is and even of you can’t rap, you’d still singalong.

All of my soundtrack tunes have significance in certain parts of my life. What are your top ten songs that make up the soundtrack of your life?

This original blog post was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in January 2021 (C)

Blog – Behind The Mask…The Hidden

Our bodies withhold organs and things. Fluids, secretions and bacteria all at work to keep us from meltdowns and combustion. We grow from babe to adult and neglect what is within us…apart from the known, the spirits we harbor. The Hidden, the one watching through our eyes that witness all and everything, collecting all data within the black box which is our subconscious. You can access that knowledge.

The Hidden is of an energy that is indestructible, that can only be recycled in a process called reincarnation. Hindu, Buddhism, Taoism and many ancient cultures believed in this universal law where as energy cannot be destroyed but converted or transferred. The Hidden divinity extents itself beyond the five senses of our physiology. That sixth sense, the ability for us to sense danger and consciousness through self realization.

Now, this is not a supernatural tale, it is real life. The reality of us all. I don’t want to suppose that perhaps the you, you think is you, was perhaps someone else. Or you are the creation of an entity beyond your comprehension. All this time as you grew, you were experiencing all as though it was your very first time. Your first bike, your first kiss, your first job and so on, believing every bit of it and accepting your limitations as a body bound entity.

One way to reach out to this conscious and aware entity is through meditation. In this state, the Hidden is eventually revealed through time and practice. Please research more on meditation on your own. I practice different meditation techniques through my religious practice. But at first meditation can be difficult. Do not give in, you can achieve this access to your inner self. One technique is to shut the world out by sitting quietly, upright in a chair, listening to your heartbeat and breathing from the diaphragm slowly. Allow yourself to focus on your breathing alone. Now in some cases you can chant, but in most cases the focus on the breathing should be enough. I cannot say when the Hidden will reveal itself to you, because everyone’s experience will be different. Eventually, you will engage with this higher consciousness and in that union all will be revealed to you.

#2020

Just some thoughts. A friend of mine inspired me to share these thoughts with my audience on my own blog rather than haunt them with it. *laughing out loud and hard* I tweaked the post just a bit, but the message is still clear. Thanks friend! On my blog, I can share freely. This was my free thinking expression:

Yes, everything starts with the individual. A single person is a universe onto themselves. We do need to confront what prevents us from achieving goals, whether there be excuses or actually admitting to ourselves how much effort do we put into changing ourselves or fates comes into question. Nothing in this universe can prevent us from willing into being something we want achieve, it is ourselves that ultimately get in our own way at times. That is the ultimate truth. We are infinite and unstoppable when we realize we can do everything we think and conjure, but it is the most devastating thing to admit that we failed because we actually was too lazy or scared or hopeless to put things into place to make them happen. I’m willing to do that for myself. You are right about not putting the efforts into holidays or a specific time to work on your vices or goals, but to understand profoundly the reason that nothing comes into being without efforts, could be freeing yourself from all limitations.

What will you do with your power? Let me know in the comments section. I am eager to listen and connect.

Thank you for reading and allowing me to be my best self.

Disclaimer: This inspired by a close friend, who may hate me currently, lol. All photography and original art for this post was created or captured by Hetheru Mer Djehuty. Thank you so much for your support. Please feel free to like, comment, criticize, make suggestions or say “hi”.

This original blog post was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her.

BRIEF NARRATIVE: UGH…MOMENT. (Writing In The Raw)

Pulling a trigger quickly, tapping the enter button to add the latest update on my blog. Eagerly, I make adjustments because I made last minute plans to go to The Vitamin Shoppe because I realized I haven’t eaten all day and the need for sustenance just registered to my brain. This sent signals to my tummy which moaned, woefully. The day was long and troublesome, eating was not an immediate concern, at the time.

So the blog was updated and I jumped into my stealtoe boots and ran out the house with a bag of garbage. Well, the bag of garbage was not going to the store with me, it was taken out…to an even larger trash can at the side of the house. I darted to the trash cans and fought off multiple critters and flying insects I could not immediately identify. Deposited the trash quickly without getting in nature’s way.

Finally, I got in the car and drove to The Vitamin Shoppe on Two Notch Road. For a Tueesday evening, the road was buzzing with cars. I prompted myself to stay conscious most of my drive there and noticed the brands of cars that jetted by me, going to nowhere most likely, because Two Notch Road is littered with traffic lights. You stop every half a mile or less.

I was ecstatic to arrive at The Vitamin Shoppe, it is like a health conscious individuals paradise. I was was there mostly, because my brain was actually egging me on to stop at the near by Sam’s Club and get a frozen yogurt instead and call it a night. But no, I had to do what was best for my body and purchase a powdered protein shake in order to take away from the guilt of not feeding my body while my mind was preoccupied with other frivolous things. Those frivolous things caused a aweful lot of bawling and snot and drool….bodily fluids to be fluid just before I finished that last blog. embarrassing

A dashing young man came through with a cart, not to shop with, but I assume he used it for the store since he worked there at the Vitamin Shoppe. I hope he never reads this blog, because he would laugh. So, I’m eye-balling the protein shake powders, reading about what they have, how much protein and all the million things they have in them, that I may desire. At one point, I saw a product and asked “what other pea protein products do you have, ” and he replied, “It has this product, see there is pea protein in the ingredients…” Duh. I knew I could look and see, but do you, young man know? Anyway, I moved on and perused some more. Couldn’t figure if I wanted the caffeinated vegan protein powders or the blasted regular vanilla or chocolate. Blah!

When I get to the cash register, he asked for my number so that they can find my account and I asked if I had gotten enough points to get a five dollar discount. I didn’t. I didn’t have enough points. As he was ringing up my items, I remembered I wanted another blending bottle to put my shake in. The store assistant stopped and showed me to the aisle with the blending bottle and their various uses. I picked one, but then he showed me one with a swirvel stick on the inside and I was like, “BINGO”. Ran back to the register, he’s ringing up my bottle then I see the ginger gum I wanted to try with my boyfriend. Other times, I would see it after I already paid and never bought it. This time…I was right on the money. I even asked the store assistant if they taste good. he said, “Some people like the cinnamon.” Ewwwwww…Ginger gum it is!

After I got my items, I jumped in the car. Drove around to the traffic light to go towards home when I discovered that I had dried snot and cold around my nose the entire time I was in the store. The store attendant propable was wondering “what is she on?” I cackled like a loon bird realizing that I was talking to someone face to face with dried cold on my face and they didn’t laugh at me…outright.

The End.

Disclaimer: I just wrote this on the fly. If there are any grammatical errors, they are made on purpose. That is what I mean when I say “writing in the raw.” Raw emotions, sentences may not be full sentences…things of that nature. Writing for fun! All photography posted on my blog is original artwork and photos taken by Juana M. Gumbs. Thank you so much for your support. Please comment, criticize, make suggestions or say “hi”.

This is an original work of an actual journal entry of mine and is copyrighted in 2019 by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her.