Sequence: My Garden Overflow (Short Story)

Most avoid looking directly into the sun, but I embrace it. Laying on the plush grass making contact with the Beloved while the glare penetrate my every core and seeps into my minds eye. I am wide open to receive it’s code.

“Blessed sun take me where no one else can go, your warmth is unlike any other,” I said while my arms are out stretched, welcoming. “Possess me, Creator, I need to draw strength from your being.” I lay there, arms garnering the unseen forces that come to me, alone on this earth, hugged by only nature.

It came soft and caressed me, entering first from my arms, then the cavity of my chest which made me groan slightly. It was not painful, more so, it was as though I was being filled up, brought to life as though I was a tree, feeding. It flowed down and up within my limb stems and leaves. I lay sighing, short gasps, the oxygen escaping me. “This is love,” I responded.

This original short story, essay is written on the fly and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All photography was made/taken by Ms. Gumbs, all rights are reserved by her in February 2022 (C)

The Unsent Message To Niine – A Short Story

Benevolent One. My Niine, The Crown Upon My Head, and as if I wasn’t clear before, I would say it loudly to your beloved face if I could, as you are profound in your own creation and I yearn for it.

I miss your essence. Your reluctance to say and do sentimental things, listening to you speak about those elements and ideas that excites you and you are so passionate about all of it. I want to be there when life makes you livid and you need to vent and release, without input, just listening…the journey with you, has been an incredible one so far.

I don’t expect anything from you in this immediate point in time. I just want you to know my thoughts and feelings and that I am very distraught for hurting yours. It doesn’t change how you feel about me in this current time. So, Beloved, Benevolent One…i am patiently waiting…come home to me.

Many, many moons ago, a friend of mine turned to me and said, “love is…a funny and complicated animal.”

This original Essay/Short Story is written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in July 2021 (C)

Leaking, Pouring Down the Whole – Poetry

I have become the drip drip of ink

Grim, shiny

Pleasing only to things grasping in the noir rub rub smear

Becoming a former model of itself

To encounter the deep devoid of any wish or desire

Just a new hastening to mere darkness

And if this snake was a ring it only naws at it’s own tail and ass

Going about it’s daily and eternal task

These original poem (poetry) are written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in May 2021 (C)

Red Eyes, Dim Thoughts – Poetry

The bawling never subsides

The claim

Then the realization that absolutely nothing can be done

Lingers like the aroma of dead flowers scattered under a Magnolia tree

The essence of what was

Is distant

And I squint my eyes exceptionally hard to see the horizon beyond a hazy oasis

My mouth so arid

It is as though I draw breath through the sand in an emense heat

Choking, sobbing in my hands

While I gag

These original poem (poetry) are written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in May 2021 (C)

False Memory Is Everything – Poetry

Thought a man

That one day he would thrive

Formulate and populate

Then expand

Imagine it thoroughly

To the extent

That he will fly upon it

Caress notions with textures from it

Unlike any he has ever touched

Still

Unable to pick it like fruit from his whitered psyche to supply those deemed worthy

But by then

Life took its final stand

And he lost time and forgot he put it all away

Now the world will never catch a glimpse of it

Or have felt

Or have known of its existence

Or even inclined to provide it vigor

At this point.

This original poem (poetry) is written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in May 2021 (C)

Agony, My Friend In The Dark – A Collection of Haiku Poems

Warning: if misery is a current mood, do not read any further.

1. Agony, my friend

In the dark corner, surmise

My impending doom

2. Misfortune mature

In an Amalgamation

Evoking anguish

3. Great cloud of twilight

Which creeps in subtle states from

Dawn to dusk, untouched

4. Bloodline curse bestowed

Upon the fated bastard

Begat of brute loins

5. Deep the jaws of grief

That devours contentment,

To shit out despair

6. Divine fortune ebbed

As chance flees this dastardly

Game of existence

7. Vast tree, forsaken

The branch siphoned of majic

‘Til none prevail

8. Life manufactures

Anguish with every angle

No matter the trend

9. Nightmares manifests

From much dismay and peril

Dwindling all our hope

10. Suckle my pain out

From this broken place, derived

From all this sadness

These original poems are written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in March 2021 (C)

Sunsets Left As A Reminder – A Collection of Haiku Poems

1. Sunset on the rim

Of a horizon sit still

Wavering above

2. Sun that sits abides

Sphere eternal in essence

vitality lodge

3. Amber Jewel glow

Provides warm delicate touch

Bronzing everything

4. Illuminate being

Beams glimmer through trees despite

Diminishing glow

5. Copper source divine

Burnt orange embers sublime

Receding timeline

6. Majestic crown glow

Third eye projecting passions

The universe bless

7. Burning arrow rays

Depicts immortality

Reigning nirvana

8. Drift celestial

As we Gravitate towards

The guiding sunbeats

These original poems are written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in February 2021 (C)

The Start Off…Go!

I’m writing in a place of rawness and genuine excitement as this is the 1st day to conscious living for me. I’m in the bed still of course…had a night at a party (which reminded me of how much of an introvert I am) and it definitely showed me a lot about myself. One thing being that I’m usually nervous or aren’t open to meeting new people or letting them easily into my life. As of now, I really want to life a life consciously, meticulously analyzing what I do and why. Today’s a start to live with less fear and more grit to take life in a different direction than before. I am the only enemy to myself at times, the only one stopping me, is myself through setting limitations, self sabotage and allowing distractions to wrench me from my own greatness. I discovered that I have the tools, but their inactive mostly.

Everyday should be an opportunity to make changes to oneself, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It’s like having all corners of direction about you , such as East, West, North and South. I want to add to myself in each direction daily. Lately, I became aware that just existing is not enough. Being that I can sometimes be flighty, unpredictability predictable (more on that another time) spirited away easily by distractions and always extreme with love and laughter. I need to consciously provide balance to myself. I’m standing on my feet now and the next move is on me.

Let’s see how this living consciously lifestyle works this month. My challenge is to live and live with steps to getting up and what happens after I walk of the door into unlimited possibilities.

NOTE: It is good to try something new and it is not always set by a particular instance. First step is on you.

Blog – How I Plan on Saving Myself #2: Failure and Picking Yourself Up Again

“Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.” -Shakespeare’s Macbeth

Macbeth is my favorite Shakespearean play and we know what end came to the character, though he had goals and with his goals came failure and ruin…but with goals most of us do not prepare for failure. Most of us, our goals don’t end in ruin but yet we do not plan for those obstacles that may impede our path to accomplishing success. We visualize what must be done and by the end of day one, we are ready to either quit and/or exit promptly. Have you encountered this before?

So, I fell off last week with my first “how to save myself challenge” on meditation. Yes, I felt like Macbeth in that soliloquy, acknowledging my failure but I am working to recover this week. Getting back into the discipline of meditation is not quite as easy as it was over 8 years ago when I practiced diligently. At that time, meditation was also a part of my practice along with my spirituality. I have lost my path again even with that (looking into the vast nebula which is made of me).

Moving forward and getting back on track towards that goal is often put off for another day. Then you try again and feel empowered that the next day you have accomplished what you set out to do with laser focus. A week has gone by and you haven’t skipped a day of your dedicated purpose. Your pace is as steady as a heartbeat, not erratic or slowed.

At first, with your goal set, you then decide attainment and timeframe. Such examples are saving for three months for a new car or reduce that belly fat to a sexy midriff for summertime or build-a-business using these successful tips and steps to financial freedom. In any case, no one leaves room for the fumble, the failure or the agony of defeat. Nobody realizes that they can fall and get back up again, tomorrow. And it is alright. Trust me when I say it is and don’t stop getting up after it all.

These are my original thoughts…life lessons and fumbles. I’ll being posting on my journey. Please subscribe for original content and leave a comment if you like!

SHORT STORY: LOST AND FOUND

“Where is it,” he muttered to himself.

The very last time Tonio saw his wedding band was before his afternoon swim. No, that was yesterday…or perhaps 3 days ago? But it has to be at the gym, he thought, still very frustrated.

Lucia, his wife had not noticed yet. Well, not to his knowledge. He quickly threw on some clothes, a jogger pant and a T-shirt, and ran out the house.

Pulling up to the gym, he became anxious, then steadied himself to perform the task of asking the front desk clerk a question.

“Hi, is there a lost and found box? I need to find an item that I think I left here.” He avoided eye contact with the clerk. He dreaded telling them what he lost.

The clerk put on the most sincere grin and asked, “sure, I’d love to help! May I ask what was it that you lost?” Concern on the clerks face, he was eager to assist. “Well…” hesitation from Tonio, “I lost my wedding band and…”

“Oh yes! A young lady brought us a wedding band yesterday. You are in luck!” The clerk said, he never missed a beat on showing pure sincerity. “Hold on for just a moment.”

The clerk moved swiftly going out of sight to retrieve the wedding band.

Tonio waited anxiously. He turned his back from the clerk’s desk. Relieved, he began wondering who turned in his ring. Who found it?

“Here is your ring, sir.”

Tonio turned to face the clerk. Stunned, he realized who it was and his jaw dropped.

This original blog post and short story was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her. August 2020(C)