Agony, My Friend In The Dark – A Collection of Haiku Poems

Warning: if misery is a current mood, do not read any further.

1. Agony, my friend

In the dark corner, surmise

My impending doom

2. Misfortune mature

In an Amalgamation

Evoking anguish

3. Great cloud of twilight

Which creeps in subtle states from

Dawn to dusk, untouched

4. Bloodline curse bestowed

Upon the fated bastard

Begat of brute loins

5. Deep the jaws of grief

That devours contentment,

To shit out despair

6. Divine fortune ebbed

As chance flees this dastardly

Game of existence

7. Vast tree, forsaken

The branch siphoned of majic

‘Til none prevail

8. Life manufactures

Anguish with every angle

No matter the trend

9. Nightmares manifests

From much dismay and peril

Dwindling all our hope

10. Suckle my pain out

From this broken place, derived

From all this sadness

These original poems are written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in March 2021 (C)

Journal: Am I a Narcissist?

How would you feel if someone constantly tells you that you are a narcissist? Do you believe it, research it to see if this describes you? Do you go to a therapist for a mental evaluation to see if you are one? I’m at a loss as to what I should do. Can someone tell me where to start or what I can do to get help?

Destination Allure — An Erotica (Short Story)

At this height, the balcony is slightly concealed from the public gaze. I purposely asked for the top floor, to look over the city and beyond. And also, to become a witness to this Cuban pink-orange sunset. The atmosphere was a little humid during the summer months, so I removed my clothing, took a cool shower. Then, I threw on an emerald green satin robe while my dark copper tone figure was still damp and dewy. My dark brown hair was dripping wet, with kinky, coil ringlets going down my neck, back, and breasts.

At first, The soothing West Indian breeze made me close my eyes as I stood up against the balcony. I inhaled the air and I was filled with the awakening of all my senses. The smell of Latin foods and spices, the light chatter from passerby’s below me, and the touch of the stacked stones that made up the balcony conjured something seductive about this scenery. At the moment, I was at a loss of words as to what it was that was guiding me–but it made my hands move sensually. They made a trail starting from my face, down to my neck, and cupping my buxom bosoms before I softly pressed my nipples with my fingers. They became erect and it made my honey pot throb. I found the chair closest to the glass sliding doors of the balcony and sat. With my mouth slightly agape, I took in an intense breath. I dared to touch my central part, under my robe, and between my lean and curvy thighs. My right hand and fingers found their way to that incited area and my eyes slid half-mast, as I am aroused.

A gust of wind caressed my robe and nudges my breasts delicately. The robe’s fibers grazing the nipple, as my right breast became exposed to the elements. I whined, at first and tried to cover my curvaceous bust, but an assertive force revealed my physique undoing the thin sash of my wrap. At this point, I should be alarmed but I was so impassioned that I pressed my fingers against my bud and massaged it even further. Elevating my breathing, in swells and falls as I came close to climax. This made me thrust my hips up, my buttocks tightened and raised from the seat, as I fervently peaked in satiated ecstasy.

This original blog post was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in January 2021 (C)

Dream: Caves to Alternate Realities

Most of this dream I can not recollect but what I can remember, I will write as much as I can so that it makes sense. We all understand that most dreams may not make sense or may make sense while you are in the dream state.

I found myself in a barren cave made of dark brown-red clay. I seem to have been wandering, lonely for some time it seems. There seemed to have been a mission I was on, but as time passed, I forgot. Along the way throughout the cave system, entrance off the main path. Curiosity took me to enter the path, a dark hole in the wall. On the other side was a lighted enclave which was also made of the same dark brown-red clay, except there was a forest. There was a flourish of weeping willow trees and vines with purple-pink flowers all over them, and there was a breeze. I don’t know where it came from and turned abruptly to exit from where I came. Back into the cave system.

The cave was not cramped in most paths but spacious enough for me to walk upright without my head crazing against the roof. In some portions of the cave, the roof was easily twenty feet high. As I walked further, I found that the cave had wildlife that roamed the length of it, mammoths, to be precise. They were huge and shaggy with long hairs that also matched the color of the cave walls. They could stand still and you would not notice them, but when they move, you could hear, see and feel their presence. Why mammoths? Not sure why my psyche pulled an extinct creature into my dreams but the mind has a way of showing you things and manifesting symbolism in their place.

That’s all I can remember…my subconscious will reveal itself in another dream state, soon.

This original blog post was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in January 2021 (C)

Blog: Opinions and Some Facts…Pandemic Woes

These are just some of my observations from media to actual occurrences while I am out and about in my local area and travels.

The ordinances placed upon us to stand six feet apart while wearing face masks, is a hit and miss with the human species as we contend with this recent pandemic. What is it about us that allows us to not only disobey orders but justify rebelling against them. I have heard all the reasons in the world as to why someone doesn’t wear a mask or not accessing mindfulness in order to stand at a distance away from strangers in the grocery lines and other public venues.

Immediately after the pandemic began affecting the current populace, Many of us felt like we were extras in a real life science fiction movie. A small group of folks felt like sooner rather than later we would find out that the infected would die and turn into zombies, just as our favorite zombie tv program. Not even the media could tell us how the disease was contracted. Paranoia set in, people in lines at the store was harassed and yelled at if they sneezed or coughed.

I have heard or witnessed people create reasonings to not wear masks that pertain to different ideals and idiosyncrasies. For instance, I saw a video from an individual that earnestly explained that God will protect them from the pandemic, as they avoid buildings with requirements to wear masks. Nothing is wrong with religion or belief, but I wonder if they feel the same way now, whereas, the anniversary of recorded cases is upon us with numbers still elevated across the America. Other people would rationalize not wearing masks because they can’t breathe well while wearing masks. Another group of individuals may wear masks below their nose because they feel that masks are uncomfortable. But then there are those that have medical respiratory issues and have had to use other means to breathe or contracted respiratory infections, such as bronchitis.

There are some that just refuse to wear mask because the threat is not real to them. In their world, the pandemic happens to other people, so they saunter into the local venues without masks until someone stops them to remind them that they cannot enter unless they wear face coverings. Then, you disturb their world. Perhaps that individual without facial coverings may retaliate, maybe they will just leave without tension. Some come back, mask in hand, begrudgingly fixing that mask upon their face while walking back to the building’s entrance.

We never knew life would come to this. Our fears and dreams culminating into a horror-fest. Such is life now, after the pandemic.

This original blog post was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in January 2021 (C)

Poem: Dark and Light

Time has a night and day

In between, I have given all that I can

Especially offered my heart

Which has been eaten as though it was an apple

Masticated, swallowed and digested

Never let that heart fall into the hands

Of someone hungry for theft

But without care for that which they hoard

Love being taken for granted

Left out in the cold

Is the coldest darkest night

This original blog post was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in January 2021 (C)

Blog: Soundtrack Of Our Lives

Music today does not have the same impression on me as the music from the 80s and 90s. It is hard to find inspiration in just booty shaking, clout chasing and corny puppy love songs. Music back in the day was more relatable, it felt real and even inspired you in many ways.

There are a few songs that I would like to add to a playlist for a soundtrack of my life. Songs that still make my heart sing, rave or dance. Songs that remind me of love making, lost love and finding a new love.

1. Doo Wop (that thing) – Lauryn Hill

2. Bitter Sweet Symphony- The Verve

3. Ex-Factor – Lauryn Hill

4. Waterfalls – TLC

5. Truly, Madly, Deepy -Savage Garden

6. This is How We Do It – Montell Jordan

7. Don’t walk away – Jade

8. Gonna Make You Sweat – C+C Music Factory

9. All Around The World – Lisa Stanfield

10. Baby Got Back – Sir Mix-a-lot

Baby Got Back is a favorite at Karaoke bars all over. So don’t give me the stick eye for that one. You’ve heard the song before, you cannot deny how catchy it is and even of you can’t rap, you’d still singalong.

All of my soundtrack tunes have significance in certain parts of my life. What are your top ten songs that make up the soundtrack of your life?

This original blog post was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in January 2021 (C)

All What It Seems -Poetry

Camera poised for poses of smiles and laughter

Concealing a union’s sunset

In a horizon of demise

Portraits foreshadowing tragedy

The fights that brewed and rumbled before

The capture of curled lips with crooked intentions

Memories to play the perfect role

For an audience of none

All rights go to Juana M. Gumbs as her original poem. 01/04/2021

Poem: Focus On The Good

While the bombs go off about me

While the time-lapse scurries by

And my clothing drenched with mud and tears

And I

Just wondering while wandering

What happened

How I’d forget the details too

All the motions and how they connect

Through the motions, through duress

The distant bombs still tell of danger

And in this greatly catastrophic time

I found a crevice to hide, bound

And binding

Licking wounds encrusted with dirt and tears and blood

In belief that if I do so

Then perhaps all of this is dream

Not fact

The rights to this poem goes to Juana M. Gumbs as of 01/03/2021

Blog – Behind The Mask…The Hidden

Our bodies withhold organs and things. Fluids, secretions and bacteria all at work to keep us from meltdowns and combustion. We grow from babe to adult and neglect what is within us…apart from the known, the spirits we harbor. The Hidden, the one watching through our eyes that witness all and everything, collecting all data within the black box which is our subconscious. You can access that knowledge.

The Hidden is of an energy that is indestructible, that can only be recycled in a process called reincarnation. Hindu, Buddhism, Taoism and many ancient cultures believed in this universal law where as energy cannot be destroyed but converted or transferred. The Hidden divinity extents itself beyond the five senses of our physiology. That sixth sense, the ability for us to sense danger and consciousness through self realization.

Now, this is not a supernatural tale, it is real life. The reality of us all. I don’t want to suppose that perhaps the you, you think is you, was perhaps someone else. Or you are the creation of an entity beyond your comprehension. All this time as you grew, you were experiencing all as though it was your very first time. Your first bike, your first kiss, your first job and so on, believing every bit of it and accepting your limitations as a body bound entity.

One way to reach out to this conscious and aware entity is through meditation. In this state, the Hidden is eventually revealed through time and practice. Please research more on meditation on your own. I practice different meditation techniques through my religious practice. But at first meditation can be difficult. Do not give in, you can achieve this access to your inner self. One technique is to shut the world out by sitting quietly, upright in a chair, listening to your heartbeat and breathing from the diaphragm slowly. Allow yourself to focus on your breathing alone. Now in some cases you can chant, but in most cases the focus on the breathing should be enough. I cannot say when the Hidden will reveal itself to you, because everyone’s experience will be different. Eventually, you will engage with this higher consciousness and in that union all will be revealed to you.