RETURN TO THE STARS

Sun star rising in the Scorpio Constellation 

Bright in the lives you touch  

There you are 

Lighting the way 

We behold you in all your glory 

Coming into this time and space 

First, tiny and loved in your parents arms 

You are whole in their brown eyes  

Along the way, you experienced life 

As all humans do, the ultimate reality like a dream 

Growing families, playing the roles we are dealt 

Until the eve of the return  

everything makes sense 

becoming complete  

Great comfort surrounds you 

Spirits lifted  

Becoming  

Once again that opulent, intricate eternal star 

Energy transformation 

Star dust glistening 

You know now, Before us 

The true reality 

What we are truly made of 

Returning to the stars  

Aligned

*My original poem is dedicated to the memorial of my best friend’s brother, Yonni.


This original poem (poetry) is written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All photography was made/taken by Ms. Gumbs, all rights are reserved by her in July 2021 (C)

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Inspiration, The fleeting Lover

It hardly ever comes naturally

Occurring like small instances

Sometimes coming from pin pricks

To secrete from human eyes

A tear

Wrecking havoc to tragic

Ponderings to chance

Even as in awe

Or often times induced

From failures

To fears

Mostly no one cares

If you touch one heart

May be two

If luck has it

Success in your grasp

But most likely limited

In a moment suspended in rhyme

This original poem (poetry) is written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All photography was made/taken by Ms. Gumbs, all rights are reserved by her in July 2021 (C)

The Tragic Clown – Poem

I’m sad all the time now

No one to express my wounds

So I bandage myself

Painting an enormous smile

To hide

No matter how hideous the teeth

Behind my grin

My best trick is “The Bouquet”

It’s concealed in my hat

And the crowd Ohs and Ahs

They satisfy me some

But in the end

The great big finale

Will be a permanent one

When at the end of the rope

Dangles my inconsolable heart

This original poem (poetry) is written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All photography was made/taken by Ms. Gumbs, all rights are reserved by her in July 2021 (C)

In Gray Area

Dethroned and abandoned

The loss of heart’s will to warm

To be the only one left to mourn

Without the body

Then left to carry on

As a huge and wounded heart in hands

carefully, carefully

while they display

laugh and play

To then pretend away your existence

Present day

*you aren’t the only one to feel so deeply, Wanderer.*

This original poem (poetry) is written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in July 2021 (C)

The Unsent Message To Niine – A Short Story

Benevolent One. My Niine, The Crown Upon My Head, and as if I wasn’t clear before, I would say it loudly to your beloved face if I could, as you are profound in your own creation and I yearn for it.

I miss your essence. Your reluctance to say and do sentimental things, listening to you speak about those elements and ideas that excites you and you are so passionate about all of it. I want to be there when life makes you livid and you need to vent and release, without input, just listening…the journey with you, has been an incredible one so far. 

I don’t expect anything from you in this immediate point in time. I just want you to know my thoughts and feelings and that I am very distraught for hurting yours. It doesn’t change how you feel about me in this current time.  So, Beloved, Benevolent One…i am patiently waiting…come home to me.

Many, many moons ago, a friend of mine turned to me and said, “love is…a funny and complicated animal.”

This original Essay/Short Story is written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in July 2021 (C)

Leaking, Pouring Down the Whole – Poetry

I have become the drip drip of ink

Grim, shiny

Pleasing only to things grasping in the noir rub rub smear

Becoming a former model of itself

To encounter the deep devoid of any wish or desire

Just a new hastening to mere darkness

And if this snake was a ring it only naws at it’s own tail and ass

Going about it’s daily and eternal task

These original poem (poetry) are written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in May 2021 (C)

Red Eyes, Dim Thoughts – Poetry

The bawling never subsides

The claim

Then the realization that absolutely nothing can be done

It

Lingers like the aroma of dead flowers scattered under a Magnolia tree

The essence of what was

Is distant

And I squint my eyes exceptionally hard to see the horizon beyond a hazy oasis

My mouth so arid

It is as though I draw breath through the sand in an emense heat

Choking, sobbing in my hands

While I gag

These original poem (poetry) are written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in May 2021 (C)

Nightcap Vision: Short, Short Story

Her hair is fluttering in the air, dark burgundy, long and natural coils. This woman’s laughter refreshing the aura around them. The longing to catch up and grasp hold of her grows more intense.

But she is running. She is running away from him in this dream. Giggling playfully, but running in slow motion.

He realizes, while his vision adjusted to a panoramic view, that she ran naked on a clay path in a pecan orchard. Now, why would she do that? He is a homebody and open spaces he loves, but not the heat. Never the heat from the sun.

Then, he begins to run after this dark wine-colored hair beauty though he has yet to see her face. In all this, he has not set eyes on her chin, cheeks, eyes, or even connect to her soul.

This is dedicated to my special someone.

This original blog post was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in January 2021 (C)

Death Stills: A Short Story Part One

The blue flashing lights of four black police sedans are silent in front of the two-story house. Everything seems perfect on the outside, embellished in blue siding with a charcoal colored roof and chimney. Yet, from the open front door, you can see dirt and blood commingled into the rug. Upon entering the foyer, there is a putrid blend of rotting flesh, urine and excrement. There is also bare footprints, of various sizes, going in and out of the house with the trail halting at the door’s entrance. The 35mm camera clicks go off throughout the house, capturing every moment of the past few hours.

The forensic photographer, Billie Adelson, does not blink an eye when he captures the first body on the living room floor. At the foot of the fireplace, the body of a middle-aged and overly tanned man lay face down, except–the neck and head are at an abnormal angle. The blue sweater and khaki pants he wore have no bloodstains, gashes or so much as a wrinkle. The man is wearing dress shoes which color closely resembles his khakis. Billie captures photos of the blood-mud fusion foot impressions smeared in a semi-circle around the deceased. There are no discernible signs of a struggle and a weapon to determine the cause of death. The dead man’s last cloudy gaze fixed directly into the entrance of the dining room and kitchen.

A detective wearing coverings over his shoes, stops to speak to Billie before he enters the dining room area. He motions to the top of the entrance, where the words are written by fingers in ash, “We EAT here?” Billie snaps some shots of the words written grotesquely on the wall and zooms in on the messy script. The detective moves past Billie and walk into the dining room.

The atmosphere is heavy with the blend of stagnant blood, decomposition of meat, and food left out on the table. Surrounding the elaborate dining room table, sat two more corpses. All are motionless and perched in their seats. A blonde woman in her thirties or early forties sat at the head of the table, farthest from the entrance. Her glassy eyes were so wide it seems as though it bulge from her head. Billie gulps loudly and the detective looks at him with concern but said nothing. He nods and Billie continues his tour of photos. The blonde had a black scarf with white and red roses which was made into a bow and wrapped tightly around her throat. Upon closer examination, Billie notices traces of blue-black bruises near her jawline. He also notices her posture seems posed, like a mannequin. As he examines her visually and notices that her hands lay on both sides of the salad bowl on the placemat in front of her. Her palms of her hands face up. On the right side of the blonde is a pallid brunette teen, judging from her development she was probably between the ages of thirteen to sixteen. Taking the time to close in with the focus on his camera, Billie captures the neck trauma and multiple puncture wounds. Her eyes, now glassy and almost colorless, stare downward but her chair was positioned towards the blonde rather than under the table. Her hands were also set with the palms up on the table as the blonde woman. Behind the teen is a large portion of blood that is still pooled on the tiled floor and gathers near the rear corner of the room.

Two detectives, a male, and a female are comparing notes. The female said, “I believe there was post-mortem manipulation of both bodies. I have a hypothesis that perhaps they were killed in or around the room and then were posed at the table for some significance which I am bewildered, but…another instance shows that there may be multiple murderers.” The male detective nods in agreement and moves to examine the slashes in the girl’s neck.

The female detective notifies Billie that there was a final body upstairs, in the bedroom adjacent to the staircase. Before taking the first step to climb the stairs, he sighs. He has been in the business of forensic photography for 12 years now, he is still fairly young in the business. The odors, blood and corpses do not unsettle or irritate him. But today, in particular, it is taking a toll. Just two weeks ago he buried his mother. A week before that he found her alone and dead in her apartment. After all these years seeing strangers dead, seeing a loved one dead that he has emotions and memories attached, gives him a different perspective on the business now. Everyone is someone, to someone else.

Once he arrives at the top of the stairs and looks straight into the room, where the final display must be recorded–the moment, the essence of departure, and what remains. The male investigator was working on lifting fingerprints on a mahogany desk near the window, which was open. The bed is directly in front of the door and a deceased young woman lay face-up across it. In bloodsoaked yellow sheets and comforter, her pearly arms and legs sprawled out to where they resemble a starfish on a beach. As though she prepared to sleep, she wore a nightgown, which was lavender in contrast to her pale white skin. The nightie is long and covers most of her limbs except for her head, thighs, and arms. She had a collection of blood on her dress where her heart rests silently in her chest. Then the camera flash goes off again, documenting the stills of her soft shoulders to her delicate but bloody fingers and feet. Billie shakes his head and then continues to take snapshots of her bloodstained feet. He focus on the possibility that the smeared footprints from the living room and foyer, some may belong to her. But hers are just some of the many barefoot impressions captured on his camera. Numerous footprints are bigger than his and he wears size twelve in men’s shoes.

He looks at the investigator and inquires, “who is she?”

TO BE CONTINUED…

This original blog post was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her in January 2021 (C)

Journal: Am I a Narcissist?

How would you feel if someone constantly tells you that you are a narcissist? Do you believe it, research it to see if this describes you? Do you go to a therapist for a mental evaluation to see if you are one? I’m at a loss as to what I should do. Can someone tell me where to start or what I can do to get help?