Journey – Mimic’s Last Recall

As the day begins, we never stop to think where we will be by day’s end. Yet it is inevitable, but we still live our days by time’s law, as though it makes us immortal. When we realize we are physically mortal, then, it’s too late, of course. The questions come into play as to where will we go, and of what our final transformation? We are afraid to even venture that far in our daily capacity of work, family and friends.

In came the butterfly, that somehow lost its way. Or at least, that is how I want to tell the story of this creature. A co-worker found a dead butterfly and passed it on to another co-worker that thought I would want to examine the specimen. I did want to see this creature, all be it, in its post-mortem state. Even if in its post-mortem state it was so stunning in all its glory. It was somehow, or perhaps, newly departed. The butterfly, which I will name Lailah, may be a variety of the Viceroy-Monarch Butterfly or a mimic Monarch Butterfly that is somewhat similar to the Monarch (also known as the Milkweed Butterfly) but does not carry its poisonous nature. Though it may be a mimic, it was the most beautiful and visually alive thing that I experienced all day, well except for that special someone. They know who they are. Observing the beauty of this insect had to be captured by me, because it was just a copy of its former self. I took it upon myself to love this organism, though it was not alive, and record or recall its existence by photo. Lailah will not go forgotten, because social media and even this blog will be shared of her ephemeral time. A sentient transient, as we are but are too busy to make time to meditate upon our own ephemeral existence.

Lailah was a reminder of our own journey from gestation, birth, living or existing and death. What does it matter? Which part matters most to each individual? After capturing Lailah, I plan on providing a burial, and burials, are in essence for those who are alive more than for the deceased. I am just trying to complete the circle/cycle of life. We must love every moment, even in suffering and look at all experiences in life as a path to transformation. I believe it is most important how we live not exist, reveling in the journey with our eyes wide open.

A Brief Narrative: Child of Misfortune

Be sure to ask for you what you want of gods, also understand in worship, you may just get what you want, but not how you want it. Ask for something good, sweet, kind and squeeze your eyes tight hoping that when you open them, a stranger shall appear. These child’s eyes has seen and sought so much gold, but only to realize that there is such a thing as rust and rotten in this world. William Wordsworth has written that “the child is the father of the man”, for which the child was first and has birthed the man’s concept of the world. Shaped those concepts into rights and wrongs and who to slaughter first? When still all the rights may be wrongs for another that is posed with the same dilemma.

The author decided to make a twist to the tale, that is infinite but reckless still, even with understanding. We choose our battles and are left with scars and win wars and lose some. What does it matter to the universe? What does it matter which fork we choose to eat with or which path to tangle our feet? Is it all for naught or is it for freedom we choose to live, or love or live without love? So many disputes about everything, no answers linger but belief is strong and demanding and will overcome. You cannot stop true love in its tracks instantly or demand it to come naturally either. One choice is already outweighed by the other.

JOURNEY: 40 Days/Nights of Self-Inflicted Torture

Wednesday starting the time of Lent for Catholics everywhere. The subject of Lent was brought up by one of my favorites at work, Joy who is also Catholic and shared her sacrifices during this season. Joy said, “I’m giving up Facebook for Lent. I’m always busy scrolling and searching on Facebook and I think it is the best sacrifice for the season of Lent this year.” Upon hearing this admittance from Joy, my very favorite at work, Trent and I were inspired to also join along in this season of Lent, though we are not Catholics at all. A smile was on Joy’s face in hearing us make our own sacrifices and banter on things we can also do in place of sacrificing something that probably occupies way too much of our time and in some way, is non-productive. Quickly, Trent expressed that he would give up video games and a slew of other things eventually during the day. So, I decided to sacrifice my “toy” and using my “toy” for pleasure. When I say “toy”, I mean my vibrator. I was absolutely way too modest to explain that to Joy or Trent at the time, so I said instead, “I’ll be sacrificing my “toy”. I play with it way too much. Let’s see how crazy I become without it,” I told them both. Trent gave me the eye, because he knew what the “toy” was for…but would not convey its true meaning to Joy, thankfully.

Notice how often the word TOY is used in the first paragraph, well, I will go further into detail. Now this “toy” or vibrator or ‘vibe’ is another word I use for it, has about 4 or 5 different settings. It goes from a moderate constant hum, to a more savage high intensity, then a pulsing pop pulse setting, to a rhythmic drum drum drum, then a beep hum hum beep. However, you want to read into that, you can but that is the best descriptions I can describe in the human language. As for the color of my vice, it is small black phallus shaped bullet, about the length of a middle finger with a gentle exterior, and it does have one fuchsia strip around the top which you screw off to put in its AAA batteries. Then give it a whirl…Ok. This is night two. I miss it already. I almost picked it up to look at it to provide further detail but decided not to do such a thing. Bad idea and too fresh the temptation.

Some may say, well, is it just the vibrator you are giving up then you can still…eh, pleasure yourself in other ways, but I believe that the two are pretty much connected for me. Pretty much I am inducing endorphins every time I use the ‘vibe’ and other chemicals is produced by my brain by, well masturbating. It is a debate and even has been taboo for decades that masturbation may be bad for you? This made me want to investigate the latest research on the effects of masturbation further. Maybe it will help me talk myself out of the temptation. By the way, I am single and unmarried, so what difference does it make if I masturbate often or not? Therefore, I wish to take a deeper look into it.

I came across the very first article on masturbation and unfortunately or fortunately if you are a man, it is called Male Masturbation: 5 Things You Didn’t Know on WebMD.com. One part of the article suggested that masturbation can help the sex life, because this is the best way for you to understand what pleasures you during sex and they said that women would be more satisfied sexually if they masturbated as much as men. WebMD.com also had the Female Masturbation: 5 Things You May Not Know, and it had rather positive research related to masturbation in women. Of course, the first thing was that masturbation is good for you. Yes, it does increase blood flow throughout the body, but it also helps ease stress by the production of endorphins in the body. So, feel good and masturbate. Is that so? Regardless, I will still research masturbation during this 40-day sacrifice and share what I learn with you all in other related blogs.

Please feel free to leave any comments, criticisms or advice in the comment section of this post. Thank you for coming along with me on this journey! JMG