Camera poised for poses of smiles and laughter
Concealing a union’s sunset
In a horizon of demise
Portraits foreshadowing tragedy
The fights that brewed and rumbled before
The capture of curled lips with crooked intentions
Memories to play the perfect role
For an audience of none
All rights go to Juana M. Gumbs as her original poem. 01/04/2021
Our bodies withhold organs and things. Fluids, secretions and bacteria all at work to keep us from meltdowns and combustion. We grow from babe to adult and neglect what is within us…apart from the known, the spirits we harbor. The Hidden, the one watching through our eyes that witness all and everything, collecting all data within the black box which is our subconscious. You can access that knowledge.
The Hidden is of an energy that is indestructible, that can only be recycled in a process called reincarnation. Hindu, Buddhism, Taoism and many ancient cultures believed in this universal law where as energy cannot be destroyed but converted or transferred. The Hidden divinity extents itself beyond the five senses of our physiology. That sixth sense, the ability for us to sense danger and consciousness through self realization.
Now, this is not a supernatural tale, it is real life. The reality of us all. I don’t want to suppose that perhaps the you, you think is you, was perhaps someone else. Or you are the creation of an entity beyond your comprehension. All this time as you grew, you were experiencing all as though it was your very first time. Your first bike, your first kiss, your first job and so on, believing every bit of it and accepting your limitations as a body bound entity.
One way to reach out to this conscious and aware entity is through meditation. In this state, the Hidden is eventually revealed through time and practice. Please research more on meditation on your own. I practice different meditation techniques through my religious practice. But at first meditation can be difficult. Do not give in, you can achieve this access to your inner self. One technique is to shut the world out by sitting quietly, upright in a chair, listening to your heartbeat and breathing from the diaphragm slowly. Allow yourself to focus on your breathing alone. Now in some cases you can chant, but in most cases the focus on the breathing should be enough. I cannot say when the Hidden will reveal itself to you, because everyone’s experience will be different. Eventually, you will engage with this higher consciousness and in that union all will be revealed to you.
I’m writing in a place of rawness and genuine excitement as this is the 1st day to conscious living for me. I’m in the bed still of course…had a night at a party (which reminded me of how much of an introvert I am) and it definitely showed me a lot about myself. One thing being that I’m usually nervous or aren’t open to meeting new people or letting them easily into my life. As of now, I really want to life a life consciously, meticulously analyzing what I do and why. Today’s a start to live with less fear and more grit to take life in a different direction than before. I am the only enemy to myself at times, the only one stopping me, is myself through setting limitations, self sabotage and allowing distractions to wrench me from my own greatness. I discovered that I have the tools, but their inactive mostly.
Everyday should be an opportunity to make changes to oneself, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It’s like having all corners of direction about you , such as East, West, North and South. I want to add to myself in each direction daily. Lately, I became aware that just existing is not enough. Being that I can sometimes be flighty, unpredictability predictable (more on that another time) spirited away easily by distractions and always extreme with love and laughter. I need to consciously provide balance to myself. I’m standing on my feet now and the next move is on me.
Let’s see how this living consciously lifestyle works this month. My challenge is to live and live with steps to getting up and what happens after I walk of the door into unlimited possibilities.
NOTE: It is good to try something new and it is not always set by a particular instance. First step is on you.
“Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.” -Shakespeare’s Macbeth
Macbeth is my favorite Shakespearean play and we know what end came to the character, though he had goals and with his goals came failure and ruin…but with goals most of us do not prepare for failure. Most of us, our goals don’t end in ruin but yet we do not plan for those obstacles that may impede our path to accomplishing success. We visualize what must be done and by the end of day one, we are ready to either quit and/or exit promptly. Have you encountered this before?
So, I fell off last week with my first “how to save myself challenge” on meditation. Yes, I felt like Macbeth in that soliloquy, acknowledging my failure but I am working to recover this week. Getting back into the discipline of meditation is not quite as easy as it was over 8 years ago when I practiced diligently. At that time, meditation was also a part of my practice along with my spirituality. I have lost my path again even with that (looking into the vast nebula which is made of me).
Moving forward and getting back on track towards that goal is often put off for another day. Then you try again and feel empowered that the next day you have accomplished what you set out to do with laser focus. A week has gone by and you haven’t skipped a day of your dedicated purpose. Your pace is as steady as a heartbeat, not erratic or slowed.
At first, with your goal set, you then decide attainment and timeframe. Such examples are saving for three months for a new car or reduce that belly fat to a sexy midriff for summertime or build-a-business using these successful tips and steps to financial freedom. In any case, no one leaves room for the fumble, the failure or the agony of defeat. Nobody realizes that they can fall and get back up again, tomorrow. And it is alright. Trust me when I say it is and don’t stop getting up after it all.
These are my original thoughts…life lessons and fumbles. I’ll being posting on my journey. Please subscribe for original content and leave a comment if you like!
Here comes night
I, tortured
Fighting sleep again
Which becomes
Too familiar
To the demon, Death
And falling, falling
Memories lost to a trickling end
But alive outside the reaches
Of the outer realms beyond me
Lost sense of self
Obliterated by the varied roles
In dynamic technicolor
Steadily played like
Keys on a Casio.
Everything is melodic until…
Every key harmonizing
Crescendoing into tones of doom
Who am I this time?
Time the illusionist
With it comes lessons learned
Titled the best trickster
The foe and if grasped right
The fiend that swallows
All semblance of your sanity
“Where is it,” he muttered to himself.
The very last time Tonio saw his wedding band was before his afternoon swim. No, that was yesterday…or perhaps 3 days ago? But it has to be at the gym, he thought, still very frustrated.
Lucia, his wife had not noticed yet. Well, not to his knowledge. He quickly threw on some clothes, a jogger pant and a T-shirt, and ran out the house.
Pulling up to the gym, he became anxious, then steadied himself to perform the task of asking the front desk clerk a question.
“Hi, is there a lost and found box? I need to find an item that I think I left here.” He avoided eye contact with the clerk. He dreaded telling them what he lost.
The clerk put on the most sincere grin and asked, “sure, I’d love to help! May I ask what was it that you lost?” Concern on the clerks face, he was eager to assist. “Well…” hesitation from Tonio, “I lost my wedding band and…”
“Oh yes! A young lady brought us a wedding band yesterday. You are in luck!” The clerk said, he never missed a beat on showing pure sincerity. “Hold on for just a moment.”
The clerk moved swiftly going out of sight to retrieve the wedding band.
Tonio waited anxiously. He turned his back from the clerk’s desk. Relieved, he began wondering who turned in his ring. Who found it?
“Here is your ring, sir.”
Tonio turned to face the clerk. Stunned, he realized who it was and his jaw dropped.
This original blog post and short story was written and copyrighted by Juana M. Gumbs. All rights are reserved by her. August 2020(C)
It was a faint touch on the shoulder that stirred her from sleep. The sun crept across the window, but she wasn’t conscious of it in the least. The second touch was on her elbow, then on her ankle, then an aggressive tap on the brow. This rouse her from sleep abruptly.
She sat up quickly from the shock, realizing that no one was in the house she slept soundly in for the past several hours. Her breathing quickened and she searched around her bedroom, but there was no one.
All rights reserved to Juana M. Gumbs 08/2020
This is for this day…it sure has been revealing some things to me. I’m paying these revelations much attention…
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