SHORT SERIES: The Funny Business of Suite 305 and other Tales of Infamy (Episode 2)

Short Series: Episode 2

                Morning stumbled in too quickly. The sun trickled over my face, and the warmth was so inviting. Birds sung their individual melodies outside of my window and the sky was clear and filled with the sun’s alluring rays. Almost a perfect morning. I got up, slowly stretched and yawned tiredly. The morning seemed normal enough except…my roommate, May, wasn’t in her bed. What time was it anyway? At that very thought I turned to my alarm clock; it was 9:50am! I was late, oh no! I sank back into my bed, hid under the comforter. Now, I didn’t want to face the day. The day was not perfect and luminous anymore. The bird’s melodies turned into broken notes and noise. The sky wasn’t perfect anymore, it was just plain old sky…and the I remembered last night!

                The question that came to mind was the million-dollar question: Was the bag of my roommate’s disgusting pile of waste still in the corner of the room? I dared not look over the coziness of my comforter and saw in horror that terrible Wal-Mart blue bag of gore! But I did…look over my comforter, and there it was! This Wal-Mart bag, blue from suffocation or rot or was that the natural blue that the bag was in prior to its contents? The poor bag sat on my side of the room, about 12 inches from the opening of our room door. I cringed, and there was a sound that came from my stomach, clearly it was upset! Honestly, I didn’t know what stopped me from throwing up, but the tears that welled up in my eyes, helped to hold back the wave of nausea that kept hitting my tonsils up and down like a yo-yo. Staring at that bag made me feel sorry for the poor thing. Yes, I felt sorry for the Wal-Mart bag that couldn’t throw up what was inside of it. *GAG*

                I became irritable and angry, more so enraged almost to a blasted roar about this whole situation. It was as though I was experiencing varying degrees of…grief! Here I am, waking at 10 o’clock in the morning, and where had my roommate gone? How did she not trip over her mess before she left the room? Who could possibly do such a thing and forget it hadn’t happened with the evidence in the room! I was outraged again. Reminding myself quietly, silently that I am in control of my emotions even in an unrealistic and ridiculous situation as this one. My eyes slid closed, I counted to ten and relaxed a little so that I could just focus and think. Where could she be? I knew she didn’t have classes on Tuesdays at 10…wait a minute! Today was Wednesday, right? Before I can think any further, I hurried to my calendar and it indicated that today was Wednesday! I didn’t have class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday until 2pm! Yay! Noooooooo…so, now I could relax until my roommate gets in and throw her, disgusting and repulsive bag of poop at her!

                The rest of the day went well. The library was my sanctuary for the day, and I got quite cozy in the dark corner where the fiction books were shelved. Everything went especially smoothly, after May finally removed her “dirty little secret” from the room. I told her to dispose of it in any way possible. Also, I suggested to her to go down the hall to the community bathroom and flush the thing down the toilet when no one was around to see or smell it! So that it doesn’t come back to us that we are blowing up the bathroom in those sorts and ways. She needs to take the bloody thing out of its misery and dispose of that Wal-Mart bag immediately after. Gosh, who potty trained her!

To be continued…

**All Stories in this Short Series: The Funny Business of Suite 305…is of true or actual events I encountered in my college experiences. Names have been changed and some other details as well.


7 thoughts on “SHORT SERIES: The Funny Business of Suite 305 and other Tales of Infamy (Episode 2)

  1. At first I was about to go in on your disgusting roomate, but this reminded me of something that happened in my school days. I never had a communal bathroom, but I did have suite mates that shared a bathroom with me and my roommate.
    One day, I really had to pee, bad, and my suite mates left the bathroom door locked from their side of the dorm, so I was put able to get in. So in quick fashion, I grabbed a McDonald’s cup from the night before and filled it with all my liquid, premium unleaded…lol. Well, I ended up hiding the pee cup under my desk for a few days, because I had completely forgot about it. When I finally remembered it, my suite mates had once again, failed to unlock the restroom door, so I had to take the putrid pee cup and place it in the dorm floor trash.
    I later found out that when the trash was being collected, the urine cup collapsed and splashed all over the unfortunate worker and the dorm floor carpet. Of course I kept my participation in that travesty a secret until now. Yay for being gross in college!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love your honesty. Many people will probably write about it but instead of them being the miscreant that did the act, they would blame it on their roommate. lol That was a very entertaining story. Tales of Infamy is made everywhere. The real life events is mostly, the best fiction! Thanks for sharing!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s